So many questions

Dear Lord in heaven, please help me because I am having so much trouble with this. I have so many questions, I am devastated, I am hurt, and I am ANGRY. Why oh why would you give me and the world such a precious gift only to be taken away? Why could I believe that the person I thought had the world in her hands be obviously one of the saddest people on Earth, so much so that she didn’t want to be on this Earth anymore? Why does anyone suffer depression and why do so many high achievers fall prey to such a thing? What is the point in trying so hard and being so good, and having so many gifts when all that happens is that it’s taken away, or they have so many problems. Why??? I’m filled with WHYs. I’m filled with anguish and I have no answers and wonder why humans are made to suffer such unbearable pain. I just don’t know. I’m not brave, I’m not strong, I don’t want to go back to work anymore, I’m none of these things. Funny how spring was my most favorite time of the year, when all the flowers are blooming and life springs forth from a long sleep of winter. It’s the time you chose to leave us Kaitlyn, and I can never find joy in spring again.

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About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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