Pieces of paper

I fumble through my billfold for different things, the zippered part where I keep numbers, appointments and such. In there I find movie ticket stubs of when me and Kaitlyn went to movies. One is for the last Harry Potter movie. She always loved Harry Potter books and the movies. She had seen the last movie already with her friends, but she wanted to share it with her Momma. The other stub was of the movie Atlas Shrugged. A book we both loved and had waited so long to watch the movie. They stare at me, a paper testament of some of the special things we shared. I could never find the stub of the movie we went to see the last time she was home in April, but the movie was Olympus Has Fallen. There wasn’t anything playing at the movies we particularly wanted to see, but this sounded interesting, so we went to see it. It was violent, not the kind of movie we usually see, but it ended on a patriotic note and it moved me. The theater was jam packed full when we got there, only seats way in the front that you have to crane your neck to see. Not wanting to endure the torture of that, I pulled out my assertive button inside of me and asked a couple to move over so two seats would be available in a better area. They did and we enjoyed the movie. We shared a big diet coke and Kaitlyn thanked me for spending $7.00 on a drink. I remember her sitting to the right of me, me glancing over at her often, just feeling so lucky to be able to be with her and enjoy her company.

As I continue to fumble through those papers, trying to find a phone number, I find where I had written her address down. I don’t need that address anymore, but it remains there, just like the tickets stubs will.

The fact is, paper, pictures, any and everything in my whole entire world reminds me of Kaitlyn and each one brings back a memory. Sweet memories that are now tarnished with sorrow. There will be no new memories to be made. But the memories I have of Kaitlyn are clear and precise. I remember everything about her and I will never forget her. Never.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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