What you left behind

Kaitlyn, how I loved you dearly, and I still do for I know that you exist still in some form, perhaps all around me. I don’t hate you for doing what you did, I know how far depression can take you. I could never, ever hate you, I don’t think I’ve even ever been mad at you in your life. I know you must not have known what to do about this problem or perhaps you thought you were not able to be helped, that you were too far gone to be helped. Depressed people think all kinds of horrible thoughts like this. But oh Kaitlyn, what tormented souls you left behind.and what a tangled mess of horrible grief. I know that you knew this would kill us, but you hurt too badly to let that be a factor in your ultimate choice. Though I suffer the most unendurable pain that I could ever have imagined, I love you, I love you still.

If anyone ever has these suicidal thoughts, please think of the wreck that you leave behind. I will forever remember all your goodness, your memories are too precious to ever be forgotten. But oh what you left behind…..

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About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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