Monthly Archives: May 2013

I still don’t understand

Every morning now when I wake up I’m sad. Sadness is now a continuous state, but in the mornings, it’s all new again. Then my wondering in my mind begins. The disbelief rears its head again and I am again … Continue reading

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When she went away to college

When Kaitlyn graduated high school and was about to go away to college in 2008, I feel like most mothers do when their youngest leaves the nest. I felt I would miss her so much and we were so close … Continue reading

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The story of Night-Night Baby

Kaitlyn got a little stuffed lamb type toy (I think it was a child supposed to be dressed like a lamb, I don’t know) for her first Christmas and she was about 11 months old. It was very soft and … Continue reading

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I hope you dance

I think this video deserves re-blogging, just because it means so much to me. She did dance. As a mother, I had always thought that this was the most beautiful song and video that I had ever seen. My girls … Continue reading

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I went to a grief counselor today

I went to my first appointment with the grief counselor today. She was wonderful, sympathetic, years of experience, and a great listener. I poured my heart out to her and she listened intently. I told her I have to somehow … Continue reading

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Kaitlyn’s visit and message

The other day I got a message from a trusted friend that is close in age to Kaitlyn. This message means a tremendous amount to me and goes very far in a way to make me feel better. I had … Continue reading

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Neglected

Since Kaitlyn’s death and my drowning in grief process continues, I realize that I have so many people and so many things I’m neglecting and they are important, especially the people. For one, there is my husband Allyn who loved … Continue reading

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Comfort video

For some reason, the last few days this video has brought me comfort. I’ve always loved it, but it has even greater meaning for me now.

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Time for our monthly visit

Kaitlyn, this is the month your daddy and I would have gone to see you for our monthly visit. You were always so busy studying and it was so far away, you were not able to come home often, but … Continue reading

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Nothing makes sense

Once again I wake up to pain that is unbearable. The realization that Kaitlyn deliberately took her beautiful light and self away from us all hits me with the weight of the world. I cannot describe the pain that a … Continue reading

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