I Lost a Friend

Dear Kaitlyn,

Since you’ve been gone I have realized that not only have I lost a wonderful daughter, I lost a good friend. I’ve always been very much a mother to you, I tried to guide you as best I could, and I loved you with all my heart. But also, there was more, as I always said, we were kindred spirits. We enjoyed things together that not everyone else was interested in, inside jokes, special times. You have no idea the void that has come into my life knowing I will never have that again with you.

Me and my own mother have always shared a great relationship and do until this day. We can talk about anything and she is always there for me. I almost lost her from a heart attack when I was 17. Thank goodness she came through and I have been blessed with all these years with her. That is what I was wanting with you Kaitlyn, for us to be together until I was old, friends, mother/daughter, that’s what I thought would happen.

I will forever hate the depression that took you away from us Kaitlyn, but I will forever love you.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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3 Responses to I Lost a Friend

  1. Pingback: LOST FRIEND | tot123itsme

  2. Hannah says:

    Rhonda,

    Somehow I stumbled upon this blog yesterday and have been reading all you entries since. I have been in a deep sadness for some time now and reading this makes me realize that no matter how much pain I am in, I could not possibly put my mom through a heartache anywhere similar to yours. I am so sorry for your loss and wish that your daughter could have been helped, just by reading about her I can tell she was a beautiful person inside and out. My heart goes out to you, hoping that you can find peace and a sense of happiness in the future.

    Like

  3. gatito2 says:

    I’m so glad that you stumbled across my blog if it helped you realize that no longer being on this earth would devastate everyone in your life that loves you…..especially your parents. If you have not received help for your sadness yet, I hope you do. Depression is something that cannot be conquered by yourself. People with depression need help. Thank you so much for commenting and letting me know that my posts have helped you to realize what you would leave behind if you left and I also hope that you realize that it is worth getting help. I wish you happiness. Thank you. And by the way, Kaitlyn said in her suicide note that she had been SAD all her life….she mentioned the word depression, but the word sadness was her main word. Sadness that she could no longer bear the weight of.

    Like

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