Dear Kaitlyn

Dear Kaitlyn. No, I’ve not gone off the deep end yet, though I think it may be near. I know you’re not here to see this blog and my writings. I know you no longer exist on this earth. But what if somehow you CAN see my writings from some other existence you are experiencing. Or at the very least, I can get some things off my chest. I’ve been getting things off my chest since you died and my chest is not lighter yet. But anyway…..

Just in case you don’t know, I have never been mad at you at what you did. I have been confused, grief stricken, devastated and my life has been altered, but never mad at you. I understand what depression can do to your thinking. My only wish is that you would have told someone and gotten help or at least give it a good try. But I know you had your reasons for not doing so. I’m sure you thought them good reasons but they weren’t Kaitlyn. Nothing was worth the chance of you losing your life. But I knew what depression can do even before you did this. And I certainly know now.

No matter how many times I blog and moan and groan about my sadness, I’m never mad at you and I will love you til the end of my days.

I just think it horribly tragic that the world has lost someone as beautiful as you. So horribly, horribly tragic.

I love you always,
Momma

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About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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2 Responses to Dear Kaitlyn

  1. K says:

    This is so beautiful. When I read it I cried like I haven’t cried in months. I wish I could help take away your pain.

    Like

  2. gatito2 says:

    Thank you K. Words of understanding like you give helps more than you know.

    Like

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