Dear Kaitlyn. No, I’ve not gone off the deep end yet, though I think it may be near. I know you’re not here to see this blog and my writings. I know you no longer exist on this earth. But what if somehow you CAN see my writings from some other existence you are experiencing. Or at the very least, I can get some things off my chest. I’ve been getting things off my chest since you died and my chest is not lighter yet. But anyway…..
Just in case you don’t know, I have never been mad at you at what you did. I have been confused, grief stricken, devastated and my life has been altered, but never mad at you. I understand what depression can do to your thinking. My only wish is that you would have told someone and gotten help or at least give it a good try. But I know you had your reasons for not doing so. I’m sure you thought them good reasons but they weren’t Kaitlyn. Nothing was worth the chance of you losing your life. But I knew what depression can do even before you did this. And I certainly know now.
No matter how many times I blog and moan and groan about my sadness, I’m never mad at you and I will love you til the end of my days.
I just think it horribly tragic that the world has lost someone as beautiful as you. So horribly, horribly tragic.
I love you always,