I believe in life after death. I have decided that the only comfort I can get at this time are from the signs that are given to me that I think, are from Kaitlyn. I know very well that people that are grief stricken so very horribly that if they WANT to see a sign, they will make something out of anything to interpret as a sign, whether it is a true sign or not. Maybe this is what I’m doing, I don’t know. But for now, I’m living on the few crumbs that are given me.
I posted before about the dream I had of Kaitlyn a few weeks ago. I won’t post it again, but it’s farther down in my blog. I believe with all my heart that she was telling me something. She looked so happy in that dream. She had short hair and looked just like she did before she died and I could just see her radiating from happiness.
After about a month after she died, someone I know very well had a dream about Kaitlyn, 3 times, in which Kaitlyn wanted her to give me a message. This person did not tell me about it until the 3rd message at which time Kaitlyn said, “Why haven’t you told my mom?” At that time she told me. This made me feel so good. I also posted about this way down in my blog.
Kaitlyn knew I loved the movie “Dragonfly” and she had bought me a tea pot with dragonflies on it. After she died my husband and I went on a trip for 2 weeks (I grieved all the way through it) and the whole time I was there I saw dragonflies everywhere and even bought 2 necklaces with dragonflies on it. The Native American in South Dakota I bought one of the necklaces from (she had made it) said that a dragonfly was a sign of protection to them. When we got home, there was a dragonfly on my front door. Was this a message or just my mind’s desperate attempt to make some connection with Kaitlyn; to somehow know that she is somewhere safe and happy? I don’t know, but I’m taking it as a sign. I can do that. It makes me feel better.
Two nights ago, my husband brought to me a coin that he said he just found in our spare change tin. It was a thick brown coin which I knew from the look and feel that it was not from the United States or Canada. I collect coins and I could tell. However, at that time, (my interest in everything has declined since Kaitlyn died) I did not even have the interest to look closer at the coin. Today I decided to look at it closer. The coin was from Tanzania. Tanzania is an African country that Kaitlyn visited for a few weeks during the time she was in undergrad at Campbell University. I do not remember her giving me coins from there when she got home. I don’t remember seeing them in her personal belongings that I have either. So how did that coin get there? There has never been an instance where I have seen any African coin, or any other coin other than Canadian or UK in change. Could this be a sign? I’ll happily take it as one.
Yes, I’m hungry for signs and I’ll take what I can get. Kaitlyn must know that I’m dying a slow death of sorrow here. Perhaps she is showing me these things to let me know she still is…..in existence.
Below is a picture of Kaitlyn when she was a little girl. Notice the dragonfly on her shirt.