Facebook entries # 5 after Kaitlyn died

A continuation of the entries of Kaitlyn’s friends on FB after she died.

I never met Kaitlyn in person, but I’ve known her online for a couple years now. I wish I had met her. I could see how amazing she was and how the world needed her. I feel the void, the pain of losing her, and I can only imagine the pain those her knew her better are feeling now. My thoughts are with all her friends and family. I’ve never met her, but I so miss her. (by Byron 4-13-13)

Praying for the family and friends of Kaitlyn Elkins. I am so sorry for your loss. I enjoyed running with her, seeing her at the gym over the last few months and getting to know her. She was a brilliant young lady and will be missed by many. (by Kevin 4-13-13)

Please keep my distant cousins in your prayers. I feel like it was only a few years ago when I was playing in the woods with Stephanie Elkins Alford and Kaitlyn Elkins. You will be missed by many Kaitlyn. (by Lauren 4-13-13)

LAST MOVE: I wake in a panic, feeling the need to do something so vital… If I could turn back the clock it would be true. Instead, my utter helplessness in the face of time has me spinning in fear and confusion. It spurs me to adrenaline-charged action, and now more than ever I want to somehow do something important, helpful, productive; but time is unmoved by my potency, and the foolishness of my railing against such a silent foe reveals my true impotence. Why would time defend such an untimely thing? I feel lost and meaningless, with fear stalking from every trinket, photo, thought… the beautiful wall-mounted chess board she gave me stares at me, in the midst of our last game, daring me to consider what it means that the “Last Move” token hovers over my own silver knight. (by her recent former boyfriend Shannon 4-13-13).
chess2


My friends, we all go through a lot of shit day in and day out, but SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM! I attempted suicide when I was 13 years old, and I am thankful that I did not go through with it. She was in perfect health (her post-dieting pics inspired me to diet as I am doing so now), on her way to finishing medical school, appeared happy all the time, and had family and friends who loved her. This just goes to show that people can hide their depression very well. If ANY of you are ever feeling helpless, hopeless, or just want to end it all with a bullet or bottle of pills, PLEASE message me. I have been down that road, and I do not want for you to feel that way. RIP Kaitlyn Elkins
http://www.tributes.com/show/Kaitlyn-Nicole-Elkins (by Joshua 4-13-13)

I’m just learning of her death now via these facebook posts. Our last chat a few months ago was about how much she enjoyed her heavy exercise routines, and how hardcore her body became after so many months of heavy running. And how happy she was with her successes in Med School.

When I had barely known her a few weeks a couple of Christmas’ ago, she knew that I was a little depressed and offered to call me even though she was vacationing in Florida. I declined, but now wish I had. I feel bad that I didn’t spend more time talking with her, but she was always so busy at school, and so I regret not trying harder. (by Keith 4-13-13)

I am saddened to hear about the passing of a highly respected classmate from college (Kaitlyn Elkins). She was an inspiring, intelligent, and beautiful person. Praying for her family and friends tonight. (by Stephanie H. 4-13-13)

Most of you, Kaitlyn Elkins’s friends and family, don’t know me, and now we will likely never meet. Kaitlyn was my long distance sweetheart; we met in January and fell head over heels in love. I just had four short months of her in my life, two week long visits and a weekend — and now she is gone. I love her dearly. She was my hope for a better future, and we often spoke of our plans to have her find a residency in Michigan, and come live with me in two years time. During her last visit, just a week ago, she seemed so very happy and hopeful, so full of love. Now she is gone.

Rest in peace, my darling Pixie. (by Shai 4-13-13)

I only had a couple of hours with Kaitlyn, as a senior mentor (a 2nd year project), but felt she was a friend. She was such a “class act”, looks and actions! And so vibrant, warm and outgoing. I just now found out she is gone, through the posts here. My condolence to her family and other friends! RIP, Kaitlyn. (by Lindsay 4-13-13)

You were one of the most beautiful and inspiring people I ever had the pleasure of knowing. A piece of my heart is gone with you. Be at peace, beautiful girl, and know you’ll always be loved. — with Kaitlyn Elkins. (by Kaitlyn M. 4-14-13)

I am devastated. My heart weeps for your family, you friends, and all whose lives you touched….including mine.

You were a gift that was shared with us…I am grateful to have known you and called you my friend.

I am … Heartbroken. (by Chrissy 4-14-13)

I’m out of words, Kaitlyn (by Shannon 4-14-13)

You are, and always will be missed. — (by Shannon 4-14-13)

Everyone, pray for Kaitlyn Elkins family through the hard times. I love you Kaitlyn and always will. RIP. (by Gail N. 4-14-13)

Still having trouble coping with the fact that an old, dear friend of mine from elementary school through high school will no longer be a part of this world. Nothing can fairly express the loss that those whose lives Kaitlyn Elkins has touched are now feeling. There are no words. I miss her dearly, and that doesn’t even begin to describe it… RIP Kaitlyn. I love you so much. I wish we had gotten the chance to reconnect like I had been hoping to do. (by Joanie 4-14-13)

Kaitlyn, you mean the world to our family and you will be sorely missed. We will never forget the wonderful memories we shared with you, from teaching Sarah and I the art of cake decorating, taking us to your youth group every Wednesday, to teaching me how to cram enough food in a buffet to go box to last three meals after my first SAT. I can’t even begin to count the inside jokes, heartfelt conversations and great times we shared with you over the years that you took care of Sarah and I, you were like a big sister to us both. You are beautiful inside and out, and an inspiration to us all.

Love,

Nina, Sarah, and Miriam (4-14-13)

“I asked God who I’m supposed to be. The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie.
I said a prayer and fell asleep.” …Rest well my sweet friend. (by Natasha 4-14-13)

I don’t usually use FB, but I feel I owe it ot Kaitlyn Elkins’s family to share some of my memories and thoughts — so there will be some of that in here in the future.

Mornings are the toughest for me. K was a morning person, which I am definitely not — and so every morning since we started dating I would wake up to a cheerful text message or two from her. I started really looking forward to the mornings, when I could feel her close for a moment. Mornings are cold and dark again, except for the memory of her light. It is so much harder to start the day. (by Shai 4-16-13)

Kaitlyn.

Yesterday I said goodbye, but I still hear you in my thoughts, and you still lead me. Your deep convictions, so honestly shared, still serve as guideposts. Your determined habits still motivate me. Your beautiful, inquisitive joy reminds me how I simply need to seize the happiness offered to me. Your moment of terrible sadness teaches me how much I depend on others. I promise you that I will make it, and I will be the person you saw in me.

Even now, you are introducing me to incredible people. They are people I wouldn’t have thought to meet on my own, perhaps for their differences, their similarities, or their situation. That was one of the many amazing things about you, your eagerness to embrace the whole world. And yet, they are all beautiful, quality people. Today you taught me how much richer my life can be with those people in it. I promise to be more like you in that way.

I’m still here, Kaitlyn. (by Shannon 4-16-13)

I couldn’t write until now. You know how much I hate doing this, writing to a friend who has passed. Then again, you were not just a friend; you were so much more. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, saying goodbye. I love you so very much, Kaitlyn. I miss you beyond words. You have left an indelible mark upon my spirit. But I will move on in the knowledge that time and space provided merely the setting for your life and cannot defy its transcendence. I carry you with me, always. (by Ian 4-16-13)

We shared, we shared the love of cats, of the intense interest in the vastness of the universe, the meaning of it all, the love of reading and great books, of science, deep conversations, good movies and series like Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Contact, Somewhere in Time, and so many more. The last movie at home we watched together was Avatar and the last series we saw on Netflix was Lost, which I had never seen before and became my most favorite of all time. I was on episode 26, but cannot bring myself to watch another one. We saw at Mayfair “Olympus has Fallen” which was so good it made me tear up with patriotism. Our last meal together was Chinese, just before she drove back home and I never saw her again, just days before her death. Though she was my daughter, SHE taught ME so much. How to be more openminded and loving the way she was. (by Rhonda (me her mother 4-16-13)

I still wish that I could call you on the phone and say, “Hey Turd,” when you picked up the phone. I wish that you had been able to visit me in my new house. I wish we could have had that fondue dinner that we were going to have for my birthday. However, I did promise that I’d give you some oatmeal, and I kept my word. I truly hope that you are at peace now. I love you, Turd. (by Stephanie her sister 4-17-13)

I miss you so badly thankful for everyone that came and showed support for our family and to remember my cousin. The past few days have been difficult. No matter what I’m doing; whether it’s walking around the farm, running through the woods, or studying med books, you are everywhere I look. Your laugh echos all over and I can see your face still so clearly. But I shall promise you something. I never told you how much I looked up to you or how much you inspired me to be myself again, and I will be eternally grateful. I promise I will strive to be a better person and to make it through my medical years. I will have your guidance, and I will finish what you started. And I will do it for. I love you.

Infinite X’s&O’s, your baby cousin.
(by Erika 4-17-13)

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About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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