I wanted to re-blog this video slide I made about Kaitlyn because well, I just want to. It appears that I have made something that every time I look at it, it rips my heart out of my chest and proceeds to stomp it and grind it into the floor. The pictures in this song represent Kaitlyn so much and show the absolute joy she was to have as a baby, child, teenager, and young woman. All the wonderful memories are represented so thoroughly and you get to glimpse Kaitlyn. It makes me feel good to watch it. However, unfortunately attached to these wonderful memories is the realization that she is no longer here. All the hopes and dreams and excitement shown in these pictures for a wonderful future were only partially realized. She reached her educational aspiration, but she never got to finish it. But she did not reach the complete fulfillment of her dreams. Depression took care of all that. That is why it’s so hard to watch, but I watch it anyway.
It’s amazing really. This ugly thing called depression caused one of the most amazing people I have ever known to end her life. I still can’t wrap my head around this. Oh God I hurt. I hurt so very much. I still, after almost 4 months, can’t believe it could possibly be true. It eludes me that someone so wonderful and full of promise was taken.
So, this video hurts like none other I’ve seen or made. It hurts excruciatingly but is mixed with happiness. What a mixture of things it is. But I keep watching it. Sometimes more than once a day. This video represents so much; what Kaitlyn was, and what she could have been, and what we have lost.
So, I want to post it again.