Chasing Death

A few weeks after my daughter Kaitlyn took her life 4-11-13, I went on a search for good books on suicide that could somehow help me come to terms with my grief. To help me know I was not alone and going insane with some of the ways I felt. I read 2 books. One was no help at all. One I found too religious all throughout. I’m a Christian, but I don’t want the whole book to be all about religion because though I have faith, I want people’s experiences, a list of resources, the writer to actually have lived through this, and so many other things.

Finally one day I found something that sounded like it might fit the bill. It’s called, “Chasing Death: Losing a Child to Suicide by Jan Andersen. It’s sold in paperback but can also be downloaded as an e-book. I downloaded mine from amazon. This book had all I was looking for. Every single emotion that she mentioned in this book, I have experienced. She also lost a son to suicide at the age of 20 years ago and told of her own loss and feelings. She also let lots of people tell their stories of losing loved ones in their own words, not just parents, but grandparents, siblings, friends, spouses, so it’s not just for parents. It’s filled with resources to go to other areas for help as well. It’s the best book I’ve read that has helped me try to get through this living hell on earth.

She also has a website called “Suicide Survivor Support” that is equally helpful. I highly recommend it and this book if you are suffering the loss of a loved one, know of someone who has, or simply want to read it to be able to help others through it, or want to see what suicide does to the ones left behind.

I’ve also had the fortune of becoming online friends with her and we email often. She’s very friendly, approachable and helpful. She has read my blog and my facebook entries and the other day she made a special poster for me using very special pictures of me and Kaitlyn and the background is the The Northern Lights in Norway that she took once. The lyrics she included are from the Titanic movie because she saw my post below about how that song reminded me of Kaitlyn. It’s not just a love song about a man and a woman, it’s a love song between two people, one of which is no longer on earth but is there in her heart. And that’s where Kaitlyn is. I found this tremendously kind of her to do this for me and I will be forever grateful to her and proud of it. I want to share it here.

Chasing death


About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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One Response to Chasing Death

  1. gatito2 says:

    I’m sorry but you won’t be able to see the complete poster until it moves farther down the blog because of the permanant pictures and words on the sides of the screen. I don’t know how to fix this, I’m sorry.


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