It makes me wonder where you are.

I went outside last night about 1:30 a.m. to see if I could see anything of the meteor shower that was supposed to be going on these few nights. I had my PJs on hoping no one that drove past could see me, but really didn’t care. Felt my way down the steps in the dark one by one stopping at each one to look up. There were stars out, this was hopeful. Looking up I saw no zipping blazes of light anywhere. With each step I look up for a while to see if I could see one. Step, nothing, step, nothing. Finally I was off the steps onto the sidewalk and sat down, yes, in my PJs. And leaned on the steps so I could just keep looking up a little more comfortably. I scanned the skies, north, south, east, west, straight up and I waited. Nothing. I was just before going inside and getting a blanket and spreading it out in the middle of my yard but felt someone may think me crazy as they would pass by and see such a spectacle. So after a while, I came back in disappointed. The last several times there have supposed to be meteor showers here either it’s cloudy, or I just never see one.

Ever since I was a little girl I love anything to do with space and what is out there. I guess I was a child of the age where we first went to the moon and with that I was hooked. Kaitlyn and I always talked about the vastness of the universe and the life that we know is out there. Because out of the billions of stars in our Milky Way Galaxy, there are also billions more galaxies that contain their own billions of stars. What are the odds?

If Kaitlyn had been home, we would have gotten that blanket and lay in the middle of the yard and perhaps we would have stayed out there so long, we would have seen a wonderful show. As it was, all I saw was billions of stars, bright and dim, the whiteness of a spiral of our own Milky Way ,and the frequent off and on lighting of the lower eastern sky of lightening, with no clouds in sight.

The song says, “I can’t look at the Stars, it makes me wonder where you are.” But I can look at the stars but I still wonder where you are. And I cried.

meteor shower



About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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2 Responses to It makes me wonder where you are.

  1. Tony says:

    when the sun fades
    and the darkness sets in
    the dew laden grass beckons
    and dandelion pillows entice
    to leave the familiar comforts of home
    to go to where you are
    or at least to gaze,
    in the vast deepness of space
    where eternity collides with mortality
    and the light of your life still shines


  2. gatito2 says:

    That’s pretty.


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