Some series I can no longer watch

There are many movies I can watch that both Kaitlyn and I loved. I love to watch them since she died. However, there are some movies or series that I don’t think I can ever watch again. Grey’s Anatomy is one. It was my favorite series and Kaitlyn loved it too. I will never watch it again because it portrays what Kaitlyn will never be anymore. A resident doctor.

Another series is an old one that Kaitlyn and I loved with a passion, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. For one reason, it showed a woman doctor on the frontier and Kaitlyn always wanted to be a doctor. Another thing is the romance between Sully and Dr. Quinn was great and we loved that. For her birthday and Christmas after it had been discontinued on TV. I bought Kaitlyn every series and every season of the show which was quite a number of DVD sets. There were SO many but I bet we watched them several times over.

Before Kaitlyn came home this last time for Easter before she died, she was supposed to bring the set home with her so we could watch some of it, but she forgot. Now, unfortunately, I have that whole set. It should still be with her in her apartment and with her still alive.

Though I love the show, I don’t think I could ever bear to watch it again. It shows a doctor that Kaitlyn will never get to be and it hurts me to know this. I guess if what we loved has anything medical to it, I can no longer bear to watch it.

I throw myself into my grief because I just can’t help it and it’s going to have to come out one way or the other. I can watch many DVDs of what we loved, watch her videos, look at her pictures, look at her things, they make me cry but I can do it. But those things above, I just can’t do.

But in your honor Kaitlyn, just once more, I will at least post the opening to the very first episode. I’m so sorry you will never get to be a doctor. I’m so sorry depression took this away from you. But I will keep the DVDs as long as I live whether I watch them or not.

I love you Kaitlyn.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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2 Responses to Some series I can no longer watch

  1. Give it time. There were many shows I couldn’t watch at first. Gradually, I’ve been able to work myself back into them.


  2. gatito2 says:

    Maybe Dr. Quinn but not Grey’s Anatomy. And that’s a big maybe. Thank you


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