I Wanted to Call You

My husband and I went to Charleston today (about 3 hours away from here) to do some business. We could not be there long but we did stop at our favorite restaurant, Hyman’s, and I ate one of my favorite dishes, shrimp and grits. We love Charleston. We got a seat next to the window and the restaurant is right on Meeting Street. As I waited for my food and even while I was eating, I was amazed that almost every young woman that went past our window appeared to be around 23 years old. Petite like Kaitlyn, some walking around with their iPod as they were walking about. I wondered about them. They looked so happy, so full of life with their whole life before them ready to be lived. I wondered if they really were happy, and hoped that they were. You see, I can’t look at a young woman without thinking of you Kaitlyn, knowing you are no longer living your life like they are. But what do they keep inside?

As I sat there, I kept fighting the urge to call you Kaitlyn. I always loved to call you when I was doing something I loved, or eating a wonderful meal or just anything like that. But then I thought, if you were alive, you would be in clinicals and I would not be able to talk to you anyway.

I wanted to call you Kaitlyn but my cell will no longer reach you sweetie. You went too far away.

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About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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8 Responses to I Wanted to Call You

  1. A Hot Mess says:

    I love Charleston too. I am sure she knew exactly where you were.

    Like

  2. Topaz says:

    My heart aches for you, Rhonda.

    I’m glad you got to eat at your favorite restaurant.

    Like

  3. gatito2 says:

    I know, but nothing is the same anymore. There’s that part of your soul that is always missing. I hope she doesn’t know it now.

    Like

  4. jmgoyder says:

    I cannot even imagine the pain.

    Like

  5. olgatodd says:

    God loves you and He is always with you!

    Stay strong my friend

    Like

  6. gatito2 says:

    It is terrible.

    Like

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