Yesterday marked the 6 month point of when my daughter Kaitlyn took her life. Sometimes her friends still post things on her Facebook page. When the 11th rolls around, sometimes people post more. I post almost every day there to her, and links to this blog.
One of the posts yesterday is from a man Kaitlyn dated for around 2 years. They had broken up I think somewhere around 4 months before she died. They had both moved on to other relationships but remained friends. Kaitlyn had this great ability to remain friends with anyone she ever dated (almost) because she always was involved with wonderful people. Kaitlyn always picked friends with the highest integrity and depth and so much more.
This man, Shannon probably spent more time with Kaitlyn in her last years than anyone else. After her death, of course he came to the funeral, many miles from where he lives as did many of her friends and classmates. He also came to the house after and we remained in close contact often for months after. I still communicate some with him some, but he is so heartbroken and devastated by her death, that he has to try to move on without her in his life. Everyone that loves her has to, what choice do we all have? It is so hard.
Anyway, what he posted yesterday touched me deeply. He can say more in few lines than I can say in 10 pages. I also posted something before of his he wrote just after she died titled “Last Move” I think it’s something that is in the May section of my blog near the beginning. It is also worth reading.
His message is not only touching to me, it’s very important for people to know. That’s why I wanted to post it here and with his permission I am doing so.
“Those who know me, know that I am generous with courtesy, but do not give my respect easily. I am painfully honest.
Six months ago, my best friend took her own life. She felt it was necessary, although she did not understand why. None who love her understand either.
She ran marathon distances on weekends and passed medical board exams during the week. She was happy. She had more potential than any person I’ve known.
She also cared deeply; about her family, friends, and future. About all of our futures. About her cat. All these things she gave up in one choice.
I still have no answers, but I can say this: Please take a moment to consider that this could happen to anyone. And if you are feeling great sadness yourself, tell someone. Me. A doctor. A friend. Someone you are afraid to tell. Anyone.
With love and respect,
for Kaitlyn Elkins”
Below is Kaitlyn, Shannon and her cat Gatito in front of her real Christmas tree she took so much joy in. She always loved real trees not fake ones at Christmas, but I think this is the first she put up since she moved away from home. This was her last Christmas.