My mother-in-law Eunice Elkins has always loved to cut out special things from newspapers, etc. and give to all of us if they have special meaning.
On the side of my refrigerator are things my girls Stephanie and Kaitlyn made when they were children. They have actually been on my refrigerator since they made them. I have never taken them down on purpose to think of them as they get older the things they made when they were little. It has always been a source of joy to me to see these things made by my children that some people may have long since stored away.
My daughter Stephanie is now 28, gone and married. My youngest daughter Kaitlyn took her life at 23 on 4-11-13.
There is a clipping my mother in law gave me from a newspaper of the comic strip “Family Circus” on the side of my refrigerator as well with all my children’s creations. This clipping was dated on the back 1990. When she gave it to me I immediately got its meaning and it was very significant to me. I hope you can read it. What it really means is enjoy your children while they’re young, even the messiness, the difficult times and everything, because in only a very brief time they will be grown and gone and you will only have the memories. I have looked at this comic every day of my life since 1990 always remembering and living by its meaning. Thank you Nanny.
(you cannot see the last scene on this clip due to my page writing on the side covering it up. Once it gets down in the blog you will see it. But what it shows is the mother as an old woman looking in the attic at all her now grown children’s toys being put up in the attic all nice and neat).
I have not been able to keep much of my late mom’s things. Having to keep moving after selling the family home, made this impossible. That is something I regret doing, as it was a direct result of my being unable to find a job that was full time.
I wonder 10 000 times a day if it is worth it to keep the struggle going, having chest pains, along with migraines stressed out over the mistakes I made so long ago having a direct influence on the way my life is today. Sometimes it does take the actions of someone to change the course of my life. The more I sit here and stew in the depression, the more and more it makes sense to just end it… After all I created this hell, and it is up to me to either fix it, or not fix it. I do not see a positive way forward, all that is going to happen is I am going to make further mistakes, and only make things even more worse than they are now….Tired and in pain…
Justine, I wish I knew what to say to you to help you in some way. I have tried on your other posts. You really need professional help because you sound suicidal. I don’t care if you have no money, if go to the ER and say you are suicidal you WILL get help whether you have a dime or not. If you have no insurance surely you can work out some payment plant or get on Medicaid (it’s Welfare here, I don’t know what it’s called where you live). I wish I could help you but I can’t anymore by just my words You can comment to me any time, it’s just that my words don’t seem to help you and you need more.. I don’t live near you or I’d take you to the ER myself. Please get help for yourself. I don’t want you to go where you keep saying you are going. Please get help.