In a Life Filled with This

In a life filled with these writings, I’m still left to wonder why it had to end the way it ended. This was a New Year’s resolution Kaitlyn wrote.

“I resolve to play to win, to never give up the dream. I resolve never to define my life by my failures. I resolve never to disown my own accomplishments, and I resolve never to disown my passionate desire for the achievement of my dreams. I resolve myself to giving everything I have to that which is worthy of everything I have. And I resolve never to turn away from a better, harder road to a lesser, easier road. I resolve to have the courage to be who I should be.” Kaitlyn Elkins 2009


About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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6 Responses to In a Life Filled with This

  1. jmgoyder says:

    Kaitlyn was hard on herself. It is not, and never will be, your fault. How could you possibly have known? I send you so much love Rhonda.


  2. gatito2 says:

    Thank you. I never knew she was hard on herself though. I thought life was an easy road that she had all figured out and the “world was her oyster” as I always used to tell my girls. I never, ever knew….


  3. jmgoyder says:

    I identify with both of you because of how hard on myself I was at the same age and younger, and I hid it too because I was embarrassed. My beautiful parents had no idea and I adored them just as Kaitlyn adored you guys. At 54 I still hide my depression from my mother and that is what Kaitlyn was probably trying to do until it became too much to bear. Rhonda, please put that book idea back into the pipeline; it will help so many people. Sorry if this seems presumptuous.


  4. gatito2 says:

    Nothing you ever say to me seems presumptuous. I think you are right. I know Kaitlyn adored us the way we adored her, she said it, I could feel it. It’s just so hard to be without that. The book is back in the pipeline. I worked on it all yesterday afternoon. Thank you so much for your kind words.


  5. kpatkins says:

    I don’t read it as she was being hard on herself or her accomplishments in this writing. She uses I resolve never to disown many times. Maybe the years of being hard on herself were starting to force her to put one foot in front of the other, telling herself not to give up, as if she was losing her passion for everything around her and was fighting herself to keep the blessings in her life large, her resolve not to disown her life. This was a hard struggle for her and now for you, I’m so sorry for your loss


  6. gatito2 says:

    That ia quite possible. Thank you very much.


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