The Blowers Daughter…..

I haven’t posted this slide I made for a long time. I made it less than a month after Kaitlyn died and I had never made a slide before so I put some pics in more than once and it went a little long. The music is from one of her favorite singers, Damien Rice. It lasts 11 minutes. I just miss her so much….

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About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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9 Responses to The Blowers Daughter…..

  1. I don’t know why but I made myself watch this. It’s not that I can’t confront it, being a nurse practitioner, but usually try to avoid depressing things that make me heartsick. I feel for what’s happened and in some small way felt perhaps if I watch it may help you. How, I have no idea. Your daughter is a beauty. (I don’t feel comfortable using the past tense, my apologies). I have so many questions but feel it would be way too intrusive. I noticed she put on a jacket that she was in medical school and couldn’t help wondering about that pressure, all the pressure on kids in college and grad schools, all the stress. When I finished watching it, I felt changed and came to strongly want to say to you, I hope you do write that book and don’t let anything stop you. This video is a powerful message and who knows who it may help. My prayer for now is that you and your family are helped. Forgive me if I’ve overstepped here when I feel words are inadequate am not sure what to say and don’t want to offend in any way. Sending you love, Paulette

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  2. luciddream85 says:

    She had amazing taste in music. Damien Rice is a beautiful singer.

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  3. gatito2 says:

    Yes she did. She had a very eclectic taste in music.

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  4. gatito2 says:

    Paulette, I have took nothing you wrote the wrong way. I am sensitive, but I am not sensitive to those who mean well and don’t say mean things. Everything you wrote is kind. Thank you for watching the video, I know it was long at 11 minutes, that’s too long for most people to invest in. That video was from when she was 16 until the very last pic ever taken to her (the one toward the end in the gym) which was taken 3 days before she died.

    Yes, I know medical school had to very stressful, but she never once told me that it was or complained about it. It was her life long dream since she was a child and she had the intelligence and drive to pursue it. But I’m sure it was stressful and may have exacerbated her condition. She succeeded at every single thing she did in her life, unfortunately in killing herself as well. No chance for someone to save her, no half hearted try, she wanted out of the pain and she got herself out….the wrong way.

    In researching so much about gifted children (which she was) I have found that they can suffer a horrible depression of isolation due to their deep thinking and due to this suffer isolation and loneliness from not being understood by their peers. It sometimes makes them very depressed and I feel this must have happened to her, only she never told me and I never saw it. No one did. She was an introvert like me, but she had good friends, so I never saw it.

    She lost a lot of weight at the end of her life which I’m sure you noticed, this is because she took up running to lose weight that I didn’t think she needed to lose, but she loved to run and ran marathons. Looking back, I think it was a way she tried to make herself feel better.

    I have finished my book and am only waiting for some contributers to send in their writings that I requested and permission to use part of an article. Also, it is still being edited but that isalready halfway done. The book is to honor my child and the amazing person she was, share my experience, and my journey in searching for answers in how she could have hidden being depressed and suicidal. But most of all, it is a book of warning to people that so much depression is hidden. No one writes about that. I wish I had of known.

    Well, I certainly didn’t mean to write you a book here, lol. I don’t mind your asking me anything at all. I’m very open about Kaitlyn and if you have more questions and don’t want to put them out publicly, email me at welding81@intrstar.net (note the spelling of intrstar) and I will be happy to answer anything.

    Again, thank you for spending the time to watch the video. Some things I do like this NO one can bear to do, but I find it therapeutic. I have just been driven to do them. I’m odd I guess, but it’s my way.

    Rhonda

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  5. Thank you, Rhonda, thank you. Whatever I was thinking of asking seems to have been answered with your response to mine. I’m glad to see your book is coming along, the world needs it. I mean that sincerely.

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  6. jmgoyder says:

    I think this is absolutely beautiful, Rhonda.

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  7. tersiaburger says:

    What a beautiful tribute. Lots of love!!

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