Don’t Try to Fix Me

When Kaitlyn was a young teenager, the band Evanescence came out and she loved them. The first song I remember her listening to from this band was “My Immortal” and I do believe that remained one of her favorite songs for the rest of her life. It’s about a relationship gone bad I suppose.

I have listened to the most popularly released songs by this band through the years, but have not listened to all of them. A few minutes ago I found this song on YouTube and it made me realize why Kaitlyn liked the band so much. (The lead singer is also a classically trained pianist). I think it’s because it portrays how she was feeling inside, feelings I never knew anything about.

I do know from firsthand experience, that often when you are depressed, you don’t turn to happy things to try to make yourself feel better, but more often you turn to songs that portray how you really feel inside and I think this is what she did a lot. I know I always have while depressed watched movies that dealt with the feelings I had, read books dealing with it, and listened to music so I could relate to SOMETHING.

Read these haunting lyrics and listen to the song. I think this is what Kaitlyn felt like when depressed. Though I had no idea at the time.

I know some wonder why I continue to try to examine what could have gone wrong, why I didn’t notice something was wrong, etc., but for me this is an important process for me and I don’t fight it. It’s how I am, I need to do it.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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4 Responses to Don’t Try to Fix Me

  1. jmgoyder says:

    What a haunting song. I have never heard it before. I think it’s only natural that you would continue to search for answers – I would do exactly the same thing. Sending you love.


  2. gatito2 says:

    It is very haunting. But I can understand that feeling.


  3. tersiaburger says:

    It is a haunting and very depressing song. It is natural to want answers! I think that it is part of grief. Hugs my friend in your journey.


  4. gatito2 says:

    Thank you. It is a very sad song. I will never get the all the answers I know.


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