When Kaitlyn was a young teenager, the band Evanescence came out and she loved them. The first song I remember her listening to from this band was “My Immortal” and I do believe that remained one of her favorite songs for the rest of her life. It’s about a relationship gone bad I suppose.
I have listened to the most popularly released songs by this band through the years, but have not listened to all of them. A few minutes ago I found this song on YouTube and it made me realize why Kaitlyn liked the band so much. (The lead singer is also a classically trained pianist). I think it’s because it portrays how she was feeling inside, feelings I never knew anything about.
I do know from firsthand experience, that often when you are depressed, you don’t turn to happy things to try to make yourself feel better, but more often you turn to songs that portray how you really feel inside and I think this is what she did a lot. I know I always have while depressed watched movies that dealt with the feelings I had, read books dealing with it, and listened to music so I could relate to SOMETHING.
Read these haunting lyrics and listen to the song. I think this is what Kaitlyn felt like when depressed. Though I had no idea at the time.
I know some wonder why I continue to try to examine what could have gone wrong, why I didn’t notice something was wrong, etc., but for me this is an important process for me and I don’t fight it. It’s how I am, I need to do it.