I Always Knew

I Always Knew

Trying
So hard
To reach your toys by crawling.

Running
searching
Trying to reach the eggs
Without falling.

And you had eyes of blue
Skin so fair and I always knew
That I knew you so well
That I could see inside of you.

Stories
in books
that you knew so well
Painters brush and canvas
the paint bottles that never fell.

Always
searching
For the secrets to this world.
In a portrait that you put yourself in
In words that you would beautifully spin.

And you had eyes of blue
Skin so fair and I always knew
That I knew you so well
I could see inside of you.

Always
looking
For a way to fit in
No one ever knew
The fear that was within.

And the fear goes on and on
Push the fear down
and hope it’s gone
But it just goes on and on……

And you had eyes of blue
Skin so fair and I thought I knew
That I knew you so well
I could see inside of you.

Looking
searching
For a way to end all the pain.
Nothing here that’s left to gain
From the empty space that you had.

Writing
explaining
To all that you have loved
the pain you could not rise above.
And you had to go away, so far away
…. So far away
to stay.

And you had eyes of blue
Skin so fair and I thought I knew
That I knew you so well
That I could see inside of you

And I looked at you
With the eyes I saw with
Realize I never really did….
I never really did
see all of you.

And you had eyes of blue….

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About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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8 Responses to I Always Knew

  1. Poignantly and sadly beautiful. A lovely poem.

    Like

  2. jmgoyder says:

    An amazing poem.

    Like

  3. gatito2 says:

    Thank you, just something I felt.

    Like

  4. Beautiful and oh so poignant.

    Like

  5. so beautiful and sad…hugs

    Like

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