What My Book Will Be and Will Not Be

As of yesterday, my book is signed, sealed and delivered to the publishing company where it will be formatted, edited, and the cover will be collaborated upon with me by the person who actually is an expert in covers. So my cover may look different than what I have put up here, I still intend to have the same theme. So in only a matter of weeks, it will be ready for purchase.

I want to talk about my book for anyone that is interested in it. I want to talk about what it is not and what it is. First of all, it is not a book about how to get through the loss of someone by suicide. Notice I’ve not given any helpful hints about that anywhere that I write, because I still don’t know the answer to that question and I don’t know when I will. I make that clear at the beginning of my book in case that is what someone is looking for. Some people take years to write their books, but I wrote mine in the heat of passion like someone was dictating the words in my brain.

What my book is, is a book about Kaitlyn, her life, her past, the experience I went through in losing her and am still going through, the things I had to do after her death that almost killed me mentally, living without her and all of that. It is my quest to find out how someone that was so depressed could never show signs and was very successful. It includes stories about her from some of her friends, some of her poetry and writing, articles by some professionals about mental illness in the med school/med profession (and things that can be done and are currently being done to help), articles by professionals about depression in the academically gifted in our youth, stories of people that have gone through depression, all of which were professionals of some sort or med students, residents, and stories by some parents that have lost their children to suicide. I also used a few select parts of my blog but most of my writing is original to the book.

When a person puts their book out for the world to see, they set themselves up for all kinds of criticism like bad reviews etc. The only thing I can think of that they would criticize is that I provide no help in the area of getting through this loss, hope for better and that kind of thing. But I do provide answers to some questions in my search and things that are being done and need to be done to help our youth. I let people know what a mother goes through when they lose their child to suicide, and for others that loved them. Also, I have much more I’ve not put here. I hope in all that someone can get something good out of my book.

Most books I see and have read about suicide provide all kinds of hope and encouragement that one can get through this. They also provide a great deal of religious messages in their books, but even though I am a Christian, my book does not focus on this, though I do touch on my beliefs.

I’m not trying to give my whole book away and I haven’t. I just want everyone to understand what my book is NOT. But I hope it does help people. Even though I can’t provide ways to get over this horrible loss, I do think my book is helpful in many ways.

I hope everyone gets something out of it.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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7 Responses to What My Book Will Be and Will Not Be

  1. I think your honesty will be of much help to many people. And, as I’ve said before, just knowing that we are not alone, that other parents understand and have, unfortunately, had similar experiences, can make us feel a little less isolated. In the end, all we can do for each other is to be there and listen. Nothing will bring back our children, which is really the only thing that would truly restore happiness.


  2. gatito2 says:

    Thank you. I hope it does help people. Having our children back would be the only way to be truly happy again, which unfortunately will not happen in this life.


  3. Sounds like it will be a very compelling and helpful read. Yes, I feel it will be helpful because in reading your story others will see that what they are going through, some of what they are going through, is a process. Some of the most helpful things one can do for another is to honestly communicate their insides. It resonates and helps us feel a little less along in a very dark passage. Love, Paulette


  4. gatito2 says:

    Thank you Paulette.


  5. Nancy Miller says:

    Hi, Rhonda,

    I heard about your beautiful daughter, Kaitlyn, and the book, and I want to applaud your courage. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s important that we have more stories about this excruciating and horrific grief journey. We will never have enough of them. People need to know they are not alone on this path, that there is comfort to be found, and that the veil on this taboo subject needs to be lifted. I’ll look forward to a copy. I’m keeping you in my thoughts, heart and mind.


  6. gatito2 says:

    Thank you. I hope I am doing the right thing.


  7. Nancy Miller says:

    You are. You are being authentic and coming out of the closet. Thank you for posting too about your daughter, Stephanie. I’m also wondering what her take is on the book. I will never really know what toll this all takes on a sibling, but I know my son Josh has expressed so much grief over his sister.I thought somewhere I read that Stephanie described herself as more like Kaitlyn than you thought. What could she mean by this, do you think?


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