Oftentimes I think of Kaitlyn during the times we once talked while she was in medical school. One particular instance was when she and I were sitting at the kitchen table and we were talking about how different medicines work and how they alter cells and just how they work in the body. We talked about diabetes and diseases and the functioning of the body in relation to many different medicines. I’m a registered nurse and we had to study Anatomy and Physiology, Microbiology, and Pharmacology pretty much in depth. And even though our study was intense it was a far cry from all that Kaitlyn had to study. As I sat there and listened to her explain so many things to me, some of which I already knew to a certain extent, most of which I did not, I sat in stunned silence. This girl of mine was oh so happily telling me the workings of the body on a molecular level and all sorts of things and I was amazed at how someone could retain that amount of information. And she was not going about it saying what she remembered by rote; she actually knew what she was talking about and did not memorize it, but knew it. I was so awed by her.
Then there were the times me and her daddy would take her out to eat while she was in medical school and I would ask her how everything was and she so enthusiastically told me all she was doing and it was as if the whole room lit up with her brightness and enthusiasm at what she was doing in school.
Not being an extravert, but an introvert like me, she had to work on her ability to just strike up conversations with strangers when she was doing her assessments. It’s not that we don’t like people, it’s just that it’s hard for us to come out and be very personable from the instant we meet a stranger. But she said she was improving and thought she was doing really well.
I sit here and think of some of these conversations. They are not by far all I think about her as I have 23 years’ worth of memories to think about, but when I think about those conversations and try to match that person who bubbled over with enthusiasm for school and life in general and to the girl that wrote goodbye to us and all that and put a helium bag on her head……it’s just hard to match the two.
It is just so, so hard.