Mysteries of the Universe

You know, I’m very intrigued by the unknown. I marvel over the vastness of the universe and what could possibly be out there. I get all excited over things we don’t know, like what causes people to have special abilities we don’t understand, and why some people don’t. I’m blown away by the questions of our ancient past here on this earth, what killed the dinosaurs (probably a meteor), the questions of the pyramids and what they were really built for. I’m tickled to no end when I wonder about all the ancient paintings on rocks and inside caves of images we would not think someone of that time period knew anything about. I’m amazed that structures that would be difficult to build today were built in a time when we thought mankind was nowhere near that sophisticated. I wonder what heaven is and what exactly waits for us when we die. I love investigative crime stories because I love to try to figure out who done it and see how they figure it out. I love movies that are mysterious and you spend your whole time during the movie spellbound trying to figure out everything until the surprising end. I love movies that shock me to no end at the final moment.

I love all mysterious things that I have to ponder. But one mystery that I hate is the mystery to why my daughter took her life (or more accurately….why was she cursed with the depression that took her life) when she had SO much to give this world? I’ve spent almost a year trying to figure this out and I’m no farther into figuring it out than I was the moment I found out she was gone.

When I look at her pictures that span her 23 years and see and remember all the special gifts my daughter had and just what a unique and wonderful person she was, my heart screams at her loss and the injustice of it.

I hate this mystery. But I do know one thing; it makes no sense and it is so unfair. Why do we lose anyone like this? Why do we lose our best like this? Why does someone have so much intelligence that the very intelligence they have is what makes them feel so alone?

Tell me.


About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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5 Responses to Mysteries of the Universe

  1. Uncle Spike says:

    I guess one day we’ll find out. Both my losses were different, one by accidental misadventure and one from cancer, but the questions of why still haunt me.


  2. gatito2 says:

    I hope we know one day.


  3. Anonymous. says:

    I do hope that one day we all might know these answers- your questions, as painful as they are, feel fundamentally important. I think the great underlying question is the one that has been asked for ages: why must mankind suffer? Why must any living being suffer?

    I share your wonderment at the universe and I’d like to think your lovely daughter is now part of this beautiful mystery in ways we can’t yet comprehend. It feels like we can only know such a small part of things.

    I know that things you once enjoyed don’t feel the same, but I wanted to tell you that there is a limited episode series called ” cosmos” which has started airing ( Sunday evenings on Fox, repeats Mondays on national geographic channel) which touches on some of these questions regarding the universe, I think you might find it interesting. I know I sound like I work for the show, but I don’t- I just was touched by some of the questions you ask in your post. 🙂


  4. gatito2 says:

    Thank you so much. I had heard about the series and got very excited and set my DVR to record the series. I watched it and I LOVE it! It’s just my kind of show.

    There are so many things we don’t understand, but when I look up at the stars, I especially think of Kaitlyn.


  5. Anonymous. says:

    I know you had mentioned Kaitlyn was interested in these things as well- in a way it’s frustrating that we know so little, but I suppose in another way it might be comforting that there are such mysteries, because so many wonderful things may be possible.

    I’m glad you liked the show- I actually loved the first episode too, and am looking forward to the others! It was beautifully depicted and explained in a lovely manner.


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