Ok here is the beginning of my “one year mark” of Kaitlyn’s death and my way to attempt to get through it. We are going to make a flower garden in her honor. She loved flowers. The last time I planted flowers was with her in this same place a few years ago.
My husband and I just got the bed ready today by removing the layer of grass and tilling the soil underneath. Then we put layers of garden soil and Miracle Grow potting soil on top of it an mixed it all together. So here it is. (Allyn did the hard work).
Now the rest of it will be done next when Stephanie comes to stay with me the weekend of 4-11-14 and Stephanie and I will do all of the rest of it. We will go see if we can find some marigolds and petunias (I may go out and try to find some before then). We will plant those along with a rose bush that my sister Judy gave me. Also will be the 3 plaques that have hummingbirds on them. Then I’m going to buy some kind of border for around the bed, whatever strikes my fancy at Lowe’s. Then the last thing I’m going to do is put the marker that was first put on Kaitlyn’s grave until her headstone arrived. It has “In Loving Memory of Kaitlyn Nicole Elkins, 1-19-90 to 4-11-13” with her picture.
This is how I’m going to try to live.
I will show its progress as it happens.
My Bright Shining Star 
Excellent idea Rhonda. Personally I never went in for remembering such anniversaries. After all, it’s their life we should be remembering. I always think of my ‘Angel Days’ as being their respective birthdays. In fact, I would have to think hard if asked for a date of death. Just my way I guess…
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Oh Uncle Spike, this is just something I’m doing to try to get through that date I’m dreading. I have to do something….
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The first year mark of my sons death was HORRENDOUS, and we had a great deal of support around us. It’s such a monumental date for a parent who loses a child, I’m sure it’s hard to understand if you haven’t lived through it. I’ve now passed the death date 3 times, and it IS getting slightly easier. Do whatever you have to so you can survive.
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Oh I know… I’m talking the future. In the years to come, perhaps you can try to focus on her birthday; a more positive outlook for you.
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I think so too Uncle Spike.
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Thank you Pam. It’s already horrible and it’s not even here yet. My daughter Stephanie will stay with us that weekend bless her heart. We’ll spend the weekend planting the flowers, talking about her and watching old home videos probably.
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May 22nd will be two years since my son died. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I’m going to stay home and hide from the world. I’m definitely not ready to be with other people. We make donations to charitable organizations in his name, including our local public radio station, where the day sponsorship is in his name and he is mentioned throughout the day (we also do this on his birthday). We’ll set up a space at home with photos, flowers and candles and we’ll talk about him as we do every day anyway.
I think your garden is an excellent beginning and will come to be a place you love to spend time.
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Thank you. I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere either except to plant the flowers in my yard or go buy flowers if I don’t already have them by then.
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