In The Things That Kaitlyn Loved

When I go out to Kaitlyn’s memorial flower garden in my yard once or twice a day, I feel her presence there. In all the nature and the beautiful things that were so lovingly planted in her remembrance, she is there. Strange, I do not feel this presence when I go to see her grave. I never have. She wasn’t there at the visitation or the funeral. For me visitation, funeral and headstones are important because they show the love that we feel for someone we love that has now gone away form this physical earth. These events were very important to me and our family. But she wasn’t there. Where she is is in all the beautiful things that she so loved, including this pretty little flower garden. In this garden I can talk aloud to her with ease, at her grave I feel very uncomfortable doing it because I feel like I’m talking to the wind.

I hope that it makes it through the hard rain we are having tonight and the 38 degree weather. Since that is not quite freezing hopefully it will make it ok.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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5 Responses to In The Things That Kaitlyn Loved

  1. Anonymous. says:

    You had a wonderful idea to plant this garden. I can see in the pictures that you have, with a loving heart, included many of the things your daughter cared for. What a peaceful space it appears to be.

    I wanted to include a link of a short clip that I had seen some time ago. It shows how sand can create patterns depending on the tone applied to it. Although the form changes, it is still there, and in increasingly complex and beautiful ways. When I see it, I am reminded that we know so little of the universe. The relationship between the particles and the tone seems so simple and inconsequential yet what is produced is amazing. I think I am trying to say that if there’s something this complex and wondrous that can happen when a simple musical tone interacts with sand, then I think the strength of our bonds and love has effects and implications we don’t understand. I am sure that Kaitlyn’s presence is indeed in the beauty around you.


  2. gatito2 says:

    That is SO amazing! I have never seen anything like that before. How you relate this to the many wondrous things in our universe that we don’t understand to the relationship to someone’s spirit that remains in the things they loved is so very insightful and a great deal of comfort to me. I believe in these things as well, but have never had it said to me and brought to my attention in such a beautiful way. And it really gets to the heart of me being that I’m amazed at what we don’t really know about life, the universe and the things we cannot yet comprehend. Thank you for this..


  3. Anonymous. says:

    You are so welcome- it is all pretty amazing! I would never have imagined that putting sound to sand would create particular, changing symmetric patterns- I am sure that there are a lot of amazing facts of existence and nature that we just can’t even imagine at this point in time 🙂


  4. edgarone2 says:

    “In all the nature and the beautiful things that were so lovingly planted in her remembrance, she is there.”
    It’s a wonderful celebration of her life.


  5. gatito2 says:

    Yes it is. Thank you.


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