got another gift today. One of Kaitlyn’s friends, Summer Britt, that she was friends with growing up in school met me today so I could sign her copy of my book. When I met her we talked for a long time about Kaitlyn and how no one ever thought she could take her own life; that she was the last human on earth that they would think do such a thing. She recalled all the good times they all had with the other friends on sleepovers and parties saying they would play truth or dare and Kaitlyn always loved the dare part. She shared many memories with me.
I signed her book and she showed me a little book that was put together by the poetry club they once belonged to in school. She and Kaitlyn loved to write poetry and they were in many contests. She asked me if I had seen it before or did I have it in Kaitlyn’s things as Kaitlyn got one too. I told her I had never seen that booklet before. Perhaps I have and just did not remember it, but I remember all of Kaitlyn’s special things and kept anything like this in the trunks I have for each of my daughter’s keepsakes of their lives.
In the book were many poems by Summer and Kaitlyn and some of the other children in the group. I have never read these poems that Kaitlyn wrote before.
Then Summer wanted to see Kaitlyn’s grave and we went out there. We stood over Kaitlyn’s grave and continued to talk about her, all the good times, how it is still so hard to believe. Then after a time, we both left.
She let me borrow the little booklet so I could copy the poems that Kaitlyn wrote and I will give it back to her. But I thank Summer so much for what she shared with me…another gift…..another piece of Kaitlyn that I did not know about….these poems, written by my 13 year old Kaitlyn. Here is one, and as always…..I see her inner self. I didn’t know.
I’m walking blindly through the halls
With blurry faces sliding past
Dismissing voices that shout out calls
I apathetically see expressions that are aghast
I vaguely wonder what they’re staring at
But it’s no concern of mine
Because I have no care for that
I’m just passing through with no idea of time
This, my dreamland I’m in
But this is no fantasy
Although there is no loss or win
It all just seems the same to me
Solitary in my perception of this world
No one sees it like I do
Nothing’s like what people have told
I wonder what, where, when, how, who
But I don’t get the answers I crave
So I’m lost in this life of mine
Wondering if anyone would attempt my save
But I guess I really am fine
As I’m going through this place
I lose my ground and fall
But I get back up in haste
And it’s not like it was at all
A great change in this place has occurred
I’m not just wondering anymore
All my concerns and worries are assured
And I can leap in the air and soar
–Kaitlyn Elkins (aged 13 or 14)