Mother’s day this year is such a mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand I have my wonderful mother who I love so very much and am close to that I am going to honor because she deserves to be honored and I want to. I also have my very sweet, smart and wonderful daughter Stephanie who I know will be here for me and try her best to make me feel good and she has a talent for that. I also have my sweet mother in law.
But on the other hand, there’s the daughter that I lost only last year and mother’s day even with all I have left is going to be extremely painful. I’m going to my mother’s and my mother in law’s house on Sunday and will be with my family. But I’m so going to miss Kaitlyn.
Last year, I stayed home because Kaitlyn had just died the month before. I could not bear to go anywhere. Somewhere deep down in my heart and mind, I halfway expected to get something in the mail from Kaitlyn for mother’s day. I thought maybe that before she died she may have ordered something from somewhere only to be delivered at around mother’s day. But that was just a fantasy and I knew it really wouldn’t happen. She always thought ahead…..but that would have been thinking a little too far ahead. But it would have been so like her.
So it’s like everything else in life now. I see all these young people accomplishing, graduating, getting married, having babies, becoming doctors, doing all the things that young people do, and I am so very happy for them, I don’t harbor any jealousy and I wish with all my heart that they will have the success and happiness they deserve. But it breaks my heart also to know that my daughter Kaitlyn will not graduate medical school, get married, have children, continue our wonderful relationship….or anything at all except remain in the hearts and minds of all that knew and loved her.
As I said, such a mixed bag of emotions.
Below is my Momma in 1960. She was pregnant with me at the time and I was her 4th and youngest child. Yes, my mom has looked like a movie star all her life and she’s even more beautiful on the inside.
Below is me and my daughter Stephanie on her 28th birthday Sept 2013.
Below is me and Kaitlyn in her apartment around 2011.
Below is my mother in law and my daughter Stephanie. Near impossible to get my mother in law still enough to take a pic.
Below is my momma and my daughter Stephanie this past Easter 2014.