Hidden Depression Killed My Daughter

My sister Judy sent me an article titled “I Was an Accomplice to my Brother’s Suicide” the other day and I posted it on my FB page. It is on CNN in a section called CNN iReport where people can write their own articles. All articles can be seen by anyone but when the CNN staff verifies and approves it, then it is called “vetted” and there is a CNN approval on it.

I had been thinking for 2 days on whether I should write something about Kaitlyn or not especially since it is National Mental Health Awareness month which was just formed.

So I wrote my article and it got approved! So here it is.


About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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12 Responses to Hidden Depression Killed My Daughter

  1. Neal says:

    Well done!

    I know you’re reluctant to be an activist, but I think this work you’re doing – whatever you want to call it – is reaching people and helping others. This is important.


  2. gatito2 says:

    Thank you Neal. I just feel kinda funny doing it sometimes like I might be trying to get attention or something. Wait..I AM trying to get attention for suicide prevention so I know that is good. But still. Makes me feel funny….and I’m scared people will stop listening.


  3. Doreen Bench says:

    I’m sorry for your loss and I’m grateful you are getting the word out there that this can happen to anyone.


  4. Thank you for sharing. My mom took her life 8 years ago. I was your daughters age when I found her. I haven’t been able to grieve. I have a very hard time letting emotions in. I read the “I was an accomplice to my brothers suicide” earlier this week, and I just happened upon yours. The love for your daughter that exudes from the words you have written has brought me to tears. And I thank you for this. Grieving for you and your loss is allowing me to grieve for mine. Thank you.


  5. mewhoami says:

    Wow, this gave me chills. I agree with Neal. You are most certainly reaching people.


  6. gatito2 says:

    I hope it does reach people.


  7. gatito2 says:

    Thank you. I’m so very sorry about the death of your mother. It seems greif has to come out sooner or later. I’m glad that you were able to cry. Crying gives me a great release. I do a lot of it.


  8. gatito2 says:

    Thank you so much.


  9. grahamforeverinmyheart says:

    That was an amazing article. I’m glad CNN published it so that it can reach a wider audience. I think it will make a difference.


  10. gatito2 says:

    Thank you. I hope so.


  11. grieving survivor says:

    A girlfriend of mine read your book last night, (all night). She was the first person to come over after my beautiful daughter Gabriela took her life August 29th 2013. She was amazed that our daughters were so similar that she had to call me first thing this morning. My 17 year old sweetheart was kind to all people and animals, was very bright, straight A plus. Was the joy of our lives, self motivated. She had just told us she wanted to be a doctor. She loved science. She had talked about college all of her life. She was just about to launch into that world. What happened? I miss her so much that I want to follow her. I have a son that is equally wonderful, so I can’t. I’m a stay at home mom that devoted my life to them both, yet every day I can barely hold on.


  12. gatito2 says:

    Oh my gosh….I am SO sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. She does sound very much like my daughter. I learned so very much in this past year after losing Kaitlyn because I didn’t understand how someone could hide depression so well. I can understand that anyone can be depressed no matter what they have going for them, but I didn’t understand that one can hide it. That just motivated me to learn as much as I could (and I thought I knew a lot about depression). But along the way in my search I learned about existential depression in the highly intelligent child. I would be willing to bet that is what my daughter had even though I never dreamed she was depressed….ever until she killed herself. Perhaps your daughter was depressed that way as well. So many gifted youth become depressed. My daughter left in her note that she would have killed herself years ago but could not bear the thought of hurting us so badly, but could no longer go on. So there is no telling how long she wanted to die. All the while achieving all manner of things. It is very confusing. But the end result is that we have lost two amazing children you and I; and many others have as well and it is HORRIBLE. Such wonderful beings lost. It breaks my heart.

    If you EVER want to email me and just write away about your daughter or how you feel or just anything at all, please don’t hesitate. I would love to hear from you if you would like. My email address is welding81@intrstar.net (note the spelling of intrstar)

    Again, I am so sorry about the loss of your precious Gabriela. So very, very sorry.

    Please thank your friend for reading my book and telling you about my daughter. I hope in our pain that at least someone knows how you feel.


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