Some days now, I just don’t want to talk about it anymore. It hurts too much. I’m going to do the promotions I have lined up for my book, and if anyone else offers anything I will gladly do it. I don’t feel right seeking out promotion for my book anymore. I’ve done all I know to do. My book will have to make it on it’s own now. I hope those that thought my book was good will please put a review on Amazon, but I think I’m done now. I’m proud of my book. I think that I have done Kaitlyn justice. But I don’t feel that extreme drive to push anymore with it. I’ve sent it all over the US to medical schools and anyone else that it might help (and wanted it). I’ve announced it to all the places I can think of to announce it and I’ve had great promotions from wonderful people. I still have a few things lined up I hope will come to fruition..
I felt when I wrote my book that it would do justice to her memory and possibly help people. I believe it has done that and hopefully still do that. I don’t feel right pushing it anymore. I feel Kaitlyn’s soft voice telling me “that’s enough momma. You don’t have to do it anymore.”
A year of talking and writing about this horrible event and my drive to do it seems to be coming to an end. It’s not that I don’t feel it even more, quite the contrary. But I feel like any more is no longer helpful to me or anyone else. I’m starting to feel like I’m exploiting her memory now somehow, and I don’t want to do that. I still hurt so terribly bad, just as much as the day I learned of Kaitlyn’s death. But I can’t surround myself with this anymore. Not in this public way.
I love you Kaitlyn. I hope I did you proud.