It’s like this…..

I wanted to post a clip of the movie “Rabbit Hole” with Nicole Kidman. In this movie her little boy was hit by a car and killed and she and her husband are trying to learn how to live in the hell that is left behind. Our stories are different, but the pain left behind is similar, only my girl was 23 and she caused her own death which involves so many more feelings of guilt and bewilderment and shock. I’m not saying any other death than suicide is not traumatic by any means and certainly losing a small child like this woman did is horrific. It all comes down to horrible, horrible pain and you do feel like you’ve gone down the rabbit hole.

I wanted to show this clip because the woman in this movie acts SO much like me. From what she says at the group meeting (that she did not want to go to), to the standing at the frig looking at the things he made (I still have things Kaitlyn made as a child because I never took them down….even all these years later, they are still there), to going through the clothes, the goodwill, the fighting with the husband because it puts such a strain on the marriage….ALL of it is just like me.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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7 Responses to It’s like this…..

  1. Uncle Spike says:

    I need to see that film. Thanks for the trailer Rhonda. Best wishes, Spike & family


  2. gatito2 says:

    It’s really good but sad of course. I’ve not seen a movie that shows more how I feel than that one, even though the circumstances are very different.


  3. I’m glad to see you have blogged. 🙂


  4. On Mother’s Day, my next door neighbor stopped by for some reason I can’t even remember. Not about Mother’s Day. …I don’t think. What I remember is breaking down, unexpectedly, and asking her, because she also lost a child, “Does this ever get easier?” She is in her late 70s now and she answered, simply, “Not Much.” I closed the door and fell apart for days. Thank you for this. I wasn’t aware of this movie since I’ve been in a grave of my own creation for quite some time. ❤ Love and peace to you with gratitude.


  5. gatito2 says:

    I know Melissa. I hate reading on forums and they say “It’s been 10 years for me” or “….it’s been 15 years for me and….” and they are still suffering. But they write their truth and should. It’s just hard to accept this fact. Here is a scene about “Does it ever get better?” I don’t relish the idea of carrying around a brick in my pocket all my life either, but….. I thought you would like to see this. I think the movie is very good and truthful. I’ve seen it, but ordered it on amazon the other day.


  6. grahamforeverinmyheart says:

    Tonight will be 2 years. The weight has been absolutely crushing and never leaves me. Carrying a brick would be much more manageable. It’s so difficult to “live” with the constant sadness and hopelessness that comes with losing my son. I’d like to find a way to live with this pain without the relentless suffering. Listening to other bereaved parents who have gone before me, I just have to trust that it becomes more bearable. It seems like this movie is realistic. I plan to watch it soon.


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