The Spaghettios


All throughout Kaitlyn’s life, she has had an intense dislike of cafeteria food. It didn’t matter where it was or how good it was supposed to be, she absolutely, positively would not eat in one.

So when she was a little girl, instead of giving her lunch money, I packed her lunch and more often than not, it involved Spaghettios. And they had to be the plain ones, not the ones with meatballs. I tried to tell her it was not good for her to eat the same thing each day for lunch and sometimes we changed up with some different things. She really liked Lunchables but most of the time it was those Spaghettios.

I tried so hard to praise the wonderfulness of cafeteria food, but I know she knew I was telling a falsehood. I told her how I never, ever, not once in my entire school life had a lunch box fixed for me and I had to eat cafeteria food. She was not moved.

Many, many times I told her that “They say that you are what you eat. I am quite sure that one day I will go to your room to wake you up and I will see nothing but a big Spaghettio in your bed.” She was a little amused at this, but continued the need for the Spaghettios.

Also, I would always tell her that if she continued like that, that she would one day get so sick of them that she would never want it again. That never happened and she ate them at school until I don’t know when. But she never ate the cafeteria food.

When she went away to the School of Science and Math, she had to work in the cafeteria (they had to work somewhere in the school regularly). She said the smell made her sick and I’m not quite sure what she survived on. They could have food from the outside in their dorm, so I think she survived on that. When she said she no longer wanted to go there after 2 weeks, she looked as if she had lost weight when I went to get her.

In college, there is no way that she could have ever eaten cafeteria food. She ate at the other places they had there to eat, such as fast food places.

Before she graduated undergrad she got her own apartment and then set about teaching herself how to cook the food that she did love and she developed a great talent of cooking wonderful, yet low fat and healthy meals which she continued to do until her death.

But I will never forget the Spaghettios. I think I actually still had a can of it in my pantry when Kaitlyn died. I think I just kept it there for memory’s sake but threw it away not long ago so no one would accidentally eat it. She actually still ate them as an adult before she got so weight conscious.

The memory of the Spaghettios which was just an example of how strong Kaitlyn’s will was to do or not do what she thought was right or not right or what she wanted or didn’t want still fills my heart with love for my girl who knew her own mind and had a very strong will.

I will always remember the Spaghettios.


little girl kaitlyn

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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