To My Family

To My Family

I do a great deal of worrying about what I write on my blog because I know each and every member of my family looks at it, some on a daily basis. The things I write about pertain to the deep, penetrating feeling of grief and horror of having lost Kaitlyn and I know some of what I write can be troubling to you and often some are even unable to read some of it. I’m so sorry that it troubles you. I can tell when I post something and I talk to you later the unspoken words you say, but I can tell, of your concern about my pain. You also know of my own depression I’ve been battling for years which makes you worry even more and also your own grief about Kaitlyn’s death. I’m sorry. Sometimes for that reason I think I should stop. I don’t want to worry any of you.

I don’t know what this post will accomplish but only to say I’m sorry and I don’t mean to worry any of you. But this is my path I must walk down and even though I have you all to help me, my path is my own and I walk it alone. No matter how many people have lost their children to all manner of things, I still feel I walk this path alone. I’m sorry if I’m ever short with anyone. Sometimes I feel like talking nonstop, sometimes I don’t feel like talking about it at all. But please don’t take it to heart, I know you only want to help and you do. I do so appreciate your calls and visits. I know you all love me.

Thank you for everything, but please don’t let my posts hurt you. I love you all.

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About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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7 Responses to To My Family

  1. Hello Rhonda,
    so sorry for the loss of you daughter. But as a woman who suffers Mental & Emotional illness, Bipolar 2 disorder, at times severe depression, and Panic with agoraphobia, I still have days that are difficult and have to push myself. I’m Grateful & Blessed that a live in a time where there are strides being made, and medications that help some.
    BUT….we have a LONG way to go yet.
    Which brings me to Share a Video Link that I was given to watch by a good friend of mine who works in this field. http://youtu.be/CUuyzoTI948 It is a lecture by Thomas Insel who is explaining some Medical Area’s that has GOOD NEWS & BAD….of course the bad is about Early Detection to prevent suicide, and about Mental & Emotional illness’s…..the info makes me know we still have a long way to. The more WE and the public are educated, the more people we can SAVE.
    So continue to write & blog because you never know who’s life YOU may save……

    God Bless you and your family.
    My thoughts & Prayers to you,
    Author, Catherine Lyon

    Like

  2. gatito2 says:

    Thank you so much. I’m going to put that video on my blog and facebook page. Thank you for your kind comments.

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  3. Your very Welcome 🙂 Please know your not alone…I’ll support anyway I can…

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  4. jmgoyder says:

    I am sure your family and friends understand.

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  5. Aunt Rhonda, you have absolutely NOTHING to apologize for! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. No one in our family knows in any way what you are going through because none of us have been where you are. I would probably be exactly the way you are with your grieving. No one can tell you how to grieve, just like no one can tell you how you need to feel. You grieve the best way you know how and you sort through your feelings the best way you know how. Keep writing and keep writing how YOU feel, not how someone thinks you should feel. I love you!

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  6. gatito2 says:

    I love you too Lisa. You have been a tower of strength and support by your help with me and to the Suicide Prevention Walk. I love you! I just worry about my momma reading this stuff.

    Like

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