To My Family
I do a great deal of worrying about what I write on my blog because I know each and every member of my family looks at it, some on a daily basis. The things I write about pertain to the deep, penetrating feeling of grief and horror of having lost Kaitlyn and I know some of what I write can be troubling to you and often some are even unable to read some of it. I’m so sorry that it troubles you. I can tell when I post something and I talk to you later the unspoken words you say, but I can tell, of your concern about my pain. You also know of my own depression I’ve been battling for years which makes you worry even more and also your own grief about Kaitlyn’s death. I’m sorry. Sometimes for that reason I think I should stop. I don’t want to worry any of you.
I don’t know what this post will accomplish but only to say I’m sorry and I don’t mean to worry any of you. But this is my path I must walk down and even though I have you all to help me, my path is my own and I walk it alone. No matter how many people have lost their children to all manner of things, I still feel I walk this path alone. I’m sorry if I’m ever short with anyone. Sometimes I feel like talking nonstop, sometimes I don’t feel like talking about it at all. But please don’t take it to heart, I know you only want to help and you do. I do so appreciate your calls and visits. I know you all love me.
Thank you for everything, but please don’t let my posts hurt you. I love you all.