The Helplessness of it All.

Oh its nights like this that I ask how could you leave me Kaitlyn? How could you leave me Kaitlyn? It’s the selfish question of a very hurt mother that cannot fathom how we were so close but yet you had to keep your depression a secret. Of all people in the world, I know you knew I would understand. How could you show me such beauty and joy and then just take it all away from me? How? Oh I question God, I question the world, I question the injustice of it all and it does nothing to diminish the pain I am in. You were a gift to me Kaitlyn, and then you were just taken away, just like that, no warning, no anything.

But these are the selfish questions I ask. I do not forget what you suffered that even overcomes the above mentioned selfishness on my part.

Just the ramblings of a mother at 11:30 pm that knows her daughter is dead and can’t do a darned thing about it. The helplessness of it all.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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9 Responses to The Helplessness of it All.

  1. ❤ in my thoughts and prayers


  2. jmgoyder says:

    I am so so sorry.


  3. gatito2 says:

    Thank you. I’ll look at it.


  4. lunaterra12 says:

    Sending you love and hugs


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