He Misses You Kaitlyn

In petting your cat Gatito this morning Kaitlyn (I always try to say my cat, but he will always be yours) I think about all the love you poured onto this cat. You rescued him from the pound when you moved into your first apartment because you fell in love with him at first sight. You loved cats and you didn’t want to be lonely. Every time I called you I asked where Gatito was and you would always say either right there in your lap or just beside you.

I swear Kaitlyn I believe Gatito still longs for you and is waiting for your return. Cats have a very long memory and I know this by living with two cats. They never forget anything. Do something with them once, play with the laser at a certain time of day, or feed them at a certain time, go through the motions like we do when we have to take them to the vet, they know….they remember. No one gives cats enough credit.

You left in your note to please take care of him but if I could not bear him living with me to find him a good home. You knew I could never get rid of your cat Kaitlyn. He has a forever home with me. But every time I look at him and touch him, I feel you Kaitlyn, knowing how very much you loved him, knowing that he was the last living thing that you ever saw on this earth, knowing that he was the last one you talked to, the last one you touched.

I love him Kaitlyn. You always said that he slept right by your head every night. After several days, he started doing that with me but he soon stopped and now sleeps on the end of my bed in the fartherest corner he can reach. He follows me around, but he won’t let me pet him long before he walks off. He finally, after 6 months, started getting in my lap every once in a while, but he doesn’t stay there long.

The only time he acts really happy is when I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth and fixing my hair and getting ready for the day. Every single time he comes in there with me and he starts purring VERY loudly, he nudges my legs, he gets on his hind legs and reaches for me, and there are times he even hops on the bathroom counter where I am at. At no other time is he this happy or personable. I think that when I do this, it reminds him of you and he was probably in there with you when you got ready too.

So many times he just sits in the floor and looks up at the ceiling and he meows. Does he sense your presence Kaitlyn? Is he mourning for you? I don’t know.

I try to make him happy but I feel like a miserable failure. I often tell him that I know I’m not Kaitlyn and no one could ever take your place, but I love him and I try so hard.

I know the basic traits of most cats. They are sometimes aloof and nonchalant. They do whatever they darn well please and sometimes in the middle of a rubbing that they are basking in and purring about, they often take a bite of your finger. However I find cat ways extremely charming and I love them. But there is more to just being a cat that is going on with Gatito. He eats well, he drinks well, and he is healthy as per the Vet. But I guess Kaitlyn, he’s like the rest of us; we simply miss you so much that we are not the same and no one or anything could ever take your place.


About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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