Interesting findings

I’m currently reading “Dying to be Free: A Healing Guide for Families after Suicide” by Beverly Cobain and Jean Larch. In the book they state some of the common traits and circumstances of some suicidal people. Some of these are:

Perfectionism: Perfectionists have unrealistically high expectations of self and others. They become frustrated when they don’t meet their own standards.

High achievement: They set high goals and always push themselves to do better. They may be emotionally unsatisfied and believe they will never make it, no matter how hard they try.

Fear of Failure: They may fear they will fail and be criticized. They may not understand the value of learning from failure. Criticism can be devastating.

Talent or high Intelligence: Gifted people may feel pressured by others’ high expectations. They often feel different and withdraw within themselves.

Tendency to question life’s meaning: They may search for their purpose on earth or may be obsessed with whether God or another Higher Power exists.

There are others as well, like low self-esteem, hopelessness, and things of that nature, but I thought the ones I highlighted to be thought provoking…

They also state that everyone has some of these characteristics, but most people never consider suicide.

About gatito2

My name is Rhonda. I'm a registered nurse, for the last 20 years, that has not been able to work since the day I learned of my daughter's death by suicide 4-12-13. (She actually died 4-11-13 and her body was not found until the 12th) Me and my husband have been married for 32 years and he's a wonderful man. We grieve in different ways. He works, I write. This is my journey through this horrible land of losing a child..
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9 Responses to Interesting findings

  1. lensgirl53 says:

    Rhonda, all of the above are traits that my son possessed and I never, ever thought that he would take his own life. In fact, I thought those traits were positive and made him unique. I think of what a fool I was to not know. If only…..


  2. gatito2 says:

    I thought they were all positive things too! I had no clue and also feel like an idiot to have not known better. But I didn’t. No one ever TOLD me otherwise and I never read it anywhere.


  3. Katherine says:

    Reblogged this on A Mother's Grief and Learning to Live Again and commented:
    Interesting post. I’m going to find that book and read it. My son did not suffer from depression, his suicide was on impulse, but I do not know what triggered it. He was gifted, was performing well in school and at his job, and was a talented athlete. But, he trusted too easily. He was always hurt deeply when his trust was abused. He took people at face value, never understanding that people often are not as they appear. I am just learning of something called Existential Depression. I am going to learn more about it. If any of my readers can share on this topic, please do so.
    I know that when I get to Heaven, the reason behind Donald’s death will no longer matter. It does matter to me now and will as long as I’m on this earth.


  4. gatito2 says:

    Katherine, have you read the article that I put somewhere in my blog about Existential Depression that I posted somewhere in my blog? (if not let me know and I will find it for you). Oh how I wished I knew that something like that existed when Kaitlyn was a child. I would have looked at her so much more closely and look for that depression. The only thing I SAW was a happy, wonderful, sweet, highly intelligent child. Had I known, I would have tried to look deeper and would have even talked to her about depression. As it was I thought I had no need to. As a healthcare professional, I would have known that the classic signs of depression were not obvious in these types of people. I thought I knew her so well and we were so close. If only…..


  5. Katherine says:

    I know the same feelings. I don’t understand how No one knew that he was unhappy. Yes, I did read the article. It lead me to your blog. I found it through Randall Robinson. I have suffered from depression for years, and I never saw any sign of it in my son. Neither did his teaches, coaches, professors, faculty advisors, or friends. I stay away from thoughts like “if only” because it would drive me insane.


  6. gatito2 says:

    I’m glad you found me. It’s good to be able to help each other.


  7. hyphenfish says:

    My brother took his life on May 29, 2013. He too possessed the traits you wrote about. I read the same book as well and found it to be a life savior for me. Prayers of peace for you!!


  8. gatito2 says:

    Thank you. I’ve been doing so much research. I wish I knew that it was research I needed to do when Kaitlyn was a child. Looking back you can see so many things you wish you even knew to do. I’m so sorry about your brother. My gosh it happens so much more than people think.


  9. Gman says:

    WoW glad I found this my son will soon be in Med school n he is planning on marrying his girl this summer and I think it’s a bad idea n he shoul wait?…


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